Tantrums and Power Struggles That Lead to Aggression

Do you have kids who don’t follow directions, yell “no” even when you ask them to do something you know they like to do? 

I’m talking about the limit testers, the ones you get into daily power struggle with.

The tantrums.

If you work with kids like that and it often even escalates to them running away from you or to extreme aggression then this is for you. 

Many teachers of young children experience this behavior and we’ve been taught to believe that this shouldn’t be happening. Some teachers blame the children or families but just as often we blame ourselves.

Do you have that negative self-talk running in a loop where you’re beating yourself up for the fact that children aren’t listening?

But the idea that limit testing, power-struggling and tantrums is something that we shouldn’t be experiencing in our early childhood classrooms is simply unfounded.

We’re so concerned with getting kids ready for kindergarten that we’ve forgotten that yelling “no!” is to be expected for toddlers and twos. Running away on the playground when it’s time to go in, limit testing, not following directions and even full blown tantrums with aggression is normal for preschoolers!

 The research shows that preschool is THE most aggressive time for children. Being aggressive is actually how children learn NOT to be aggressive.

If limit-testing, tantrums and aggression were not part normal behavior for children 2-5 years old then we’d all know lots of teachers who report zero behavior problems! 

I don’t know any teachers like that, do you?

No. Sure, sometimes you have more than others and so do the other teachers you know but no one reports zero behavior problems.

So, you’re not a failure! And there’s not something wrong with the children or the families. This is to be expected!

That said there ARE things you can do to prevent and de-escalate tantrums when they occur. You can learn to minimize and de-escalate aggression. 

And some teachers know exactly how to do just that. But most of us have learned some bad habits that actually provoke kids, escalate tantrums and sometimes even provoke or escalate aggression. Yikes!

What about you? How do you feel about your ability to deal with tantrums and aggression? Tell me below.