Does Letting Kids Constantly Play Around Lead to Challenging Behavior?

I recently received an email...

Hi Barb - I currently have a 4 1/2 year old who hates to do school related activities of any kind...He only wants to play.... He refuses to work even when I know he is fully capable of doing the work... How do you reach such a child? I will not give up! - Elizabeth

Elizabeth, thank you. Thank you for asking such a fantastic question, “how do you reach such a child?” 

My short answer?

You reach such a child through PLAY.

You reach such a child by getting down on the rug for at least a few minutes a day, following that child’s lead, and playing with them (while interacting with other children, of course).

You reach such a child by greeting them each morning in a playful way, using what you know about their interests.

You reach such a child by being PLAYFUL throughout the day.

As it turns out, Elizabeth was doing just that!

However, Elizabeth was also feeling a lot of pressure from the child’s family who, “...want him ready for kindergarten NOW.”

My guess is that she also felt pressure from her administrators to get him ready for kindergarten and to teach him to do things like write his name.

Elizabeth and I did not have the opportunity to discuss this, but what I have found - and you may be working in a program where this is true - many programs feeling that pressure have taken to using things like worksheets or having children all sit to simultaneously journal or write their names on lined paper. However…

...many 3- and 4-year-old children avoid activities like that at all costs! 

(Even some 5s).

That can leave their teachers feeling frustrated, confused and - in the worst case scenario - even cause them to leave our field!

But here’s the thing. 

It turns out (don’t shoot the messenger here!) that sitting the whole class down at tables and telling them all to practice writing their names on lined paper, or tracing the dotted letters, or writing in a journal is NOT the best way to get preschool children to learn to write their names...not even in preK.

(If you’re doing it and all the children are agreeable and you’re not interested in changing your approach then close this blog post on up and see if next week speaks to you!) ...but I mean are ALL the kids cooperative, enjoying it and successful? Cause if not then do please bear with me...

Everything I have ever learned in my 25 years in the field, in every graduate early childhood course I ever took, in any reputable article I’ve read on teaching young children to write has taught me…

...we must give children time and space to DRAW.

…which includes SCRIBBLING.

….and time and space to use all manner of manipulatives (legos, pegs, beading, waffle blocks) and things like play dough to strengthen fine motor skills.

….THEN, as they show interest (“write my name!”) and we see them actually being able to make intentional marks and representational drawings (a person, a house, etc…) THEN we can encourage them to write in meaningful ways, such as putting their own name on their drawing or writing the word “mom,” or “cat,” or a friend’s name (whatever is most motivating) on their picture.

Of course there’s much more to say on the subject. But that’s a crash course in some of the basics (create a print-rich environment and model writing throughout the day, are a couple of others).

All of which is to say teaching writing in preschool and preK should feel like PLAY, not like work.

AND, if you look at your state standards or your assessment tool or wherever you are getting your “outcomes” or “goals” for children (like teaching them to write their names) you’ll notice most of the time those tools do not dictate HOW you teach, they simply state WHAT to teach.

So, as long as you can explain to families, co-workers and administrators that the best way to teach kids to write is to let them play with manipulatives and give them gobs of time and space to scribble and draw (let them draw whatever they want) and model how to write their name (on the back of their drawings) - you’re good!

Now I know it’s not QUITE as simple as that in some cases.

Cause you’ve got all this pressure and the culture of doing these other types of activities. 

Are you working in a school or a program that has been using some inappropriate practices like having everyone sit down to practice the letter A on the dotted lines?

Do some children avoid this work at all costs? 

Does their refusal to participate lead to unwanted behavior?

If so, my question for you today is: what can you do today to educate yourself further on how best to promote writing in preschool (if needed)?

What might you do to start shifting awareness amongst colleagues and families? 

What might you do to make the existing writing activities that you do more playful?

We need to look to child development, to research in our field, and to our national professional organization, the National Association for the Education of Young Children - to learn the best ways to teach the various “academic” skills. See some links that can help you out with this below!

The short answer is always going to be: “through play”.

So, does playing around result in challenging behavior?

No. Insisting they do developmentally inappropriate work does.

I want to know where you’re at with this. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

And if you’re interested in learning how to take a play-powered approach to supporting children who’ve experienced trauma, watch my 1-hour video interview with Sarah Erdman, author of Trauma and Young Children: Strategies to Support and Empower.